Five Things to Remember When You’re Feeling Low

There is a certain suffering that comes along with a lack of vitality, which differs from some more energetic (yet still uncomfortable) states like feeling anxious or angry. Feeling low or depressed can make us feel paralyzed because we rely on an inner sense of desire, excitement, interest, curiosity or duty to move us forward in life. And if we don’t have that sense of, “What would feel good to me right now?” it’s like we have no compass for knowing what to do next.

1. Like any emotional state, feeling low provides us with feedback about what’s going on in our life and how we are perceiving it.

   The fact that you are feeling “depressed” means that you are feeling overburdened and literally weighed down by life. Whatever you do in this state, try to imagine that you are releasing something – heavy energy, burdens, things that are not yours, thoughts that are not helpful, beliefs that are not helpful.

2. Manage your expectations about where you are looking to feel next.

   If you are feeling low or depressed, especially if the feeling is very strong, you are not going to just jump into a state of bliss or joy. See if you can find a glimpse of relief, satisfaction, neutrality, or kindness.

3. Know that if you are thinking negative thoughts about yourself, they just aren’t true.

   One of the things that usually feels “heavy” or “burdensome” is the negative thoughts and beliefs we have about ourselves or our life. Let. These. Go. I can already tell you right now that they just are not true. If you fuel them, they will just get bigger and hang around for longer. There are many reasons why we might adopt negative beliefs about ourselves – for example, it gives us a perception that we can control outcomes even when we can’t. We can use reflective practices or therapy to get clear on why we might have those beliefs, but it’s not necessary to understand their source to begin to stop fueling them.

4. Depression and feeling low is more about burdened thoughts and feelings and beliefs that we have taken on, rather than something we are failing to do right.

   Sometimes when we feel low, we think we need to do something or take action to get ourselves out of it. It seems like there must be things we aren’t doing, and if only we could get ourselves to do those things we’d be in a better state. I see it as the opposite –  the remedy is more about letting go and finding the joy in our vitality again.

5. Know that any effort to think a more positive thought is also doing something positive in your mind, body and life.

   When we feel low, we can think, “What’s the point of trying to make myself feel better? What’s the point of feeling grateful when I’m so miserable? What’s the point of looking on the bright side when all I see is dark?” The point is that our minds are powerful and every effort counts – if I am wanting to feel more peace in my life, I have to practice thinking peaceful thoughts. Try reaching for thoughts like, “It’s never as bad as I think it is. I’ve gotten through worse before. I’ve always figured out a way in the past. Things can turn around any time. I really don’t know what lies ahead for me and I know there’s good stuff coming. I’ve overcome worse things before, and I know I am stronger because of it. I’ll certainly be able to overcome this.”

These are just a few suggestions of things to keep in mind when feeling low. I know that feeling depressed and low is a complex experience that is created and sustained by many factors, and it’s not something that will change overnight. However, it is possible to change a negative feeling state into a positive one, even if it feels very out of reach in the moment. If you don’t feel like you are getting traction and improving in the way that feels right to you, therapy can be a great resource to explore what you are feeling and how to create positive change.