Internal Family Systems therapy was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz through his work with families and individuals struggling with issues such as eating disorders and self-harm. Through lots of curiosity and inquiry with his patients, he became aware of an internal network of parts within the psyche, relating to each other in a way similar to how a family would function.

For example, if there is one family member who tends to dominate, other members of the family might learn to become quiet or figure out subversive ways to get their needs met. The idea within any system is that one part’s behavior impacts the whole. Understanding one part means understanding it’s role and relationship to every other part of the system.

While Dr. Schwartz was not the first to identify what is broadly known as “parts work,” he did a wonderful job at developing a truly understandable and applicable template for mapping out our inner world.

Managers

Managers are the parts that try to hold everything together, and usually this is done through some sort of rigidity, organization or rules. They try to keep everything from getting out of control, like our emotions or discomfort or vulnerability.

Fire Fighters

Fire Fighters are parts which get activated once we are in a state of “too much,” like having too much fear or anxiety or embarrassment. These parts tend to do whatever is needed in order to put out the emotional “fire,” such as using alcohol or other substances, yelling to the point where we damage a relationship, or engaging in unhealthy or unproductive distraction.

Exiles

Finally, Exiles are the parts of us that are most vulnerable, most child-like, and most sensitive. These are the parts that need protecting and the ones that get us feeling “triggered.” And we all have Exiles – just because we are grown up or adults does not mean we lose the innocent and tender parts of our soul.

For example, I’m sure you’ve had the experience of being “of two minds” when trying to make a decision, whether it be about where to go, how to spend your time, or how to approach your goals. “Part of me wants this, but another part of me wants that.” Or, you may have had the experience of really wanting something and yet seem to always find yourself engaging in behavior that is ineffective or even undermining your goals or values.

One last very important premise of IFS that Dr. Schwartz identified is that we all have what he called a “Self” inside of us that is indestructible and forever connected to our true nature. No matter how terrible our circumstances were as children, no matter how much trauma we’ve been through, no matter how many things we’ve done that we regret, we all have a Self. We were born with it and we will die with it, and part of doing this work is learning how to get more reliably in touch with it.

• Identifying and naming the various parts, perspectives and beliefs you hold within yourself, especially focusing on ones that are in conflict.
• Connecting with the vulnerable parts of you that carry some of your most painful memories and woundings, but who also happen to be a source of play, connection and joy.
• Identifying and connecting to the core, central part of you that is intuitive, confident and clear: your Self.
• Using the Self as a touchpoint for learning how to better relate to each one of your parts. Dr. Schwartz calls this being “Self-led.”

I have completed the 6-month IFS Inner Circle program.